early night

I just got off work at 7pm. I came home from work last night, took a benedryl, so would be sleepy and went to bed around 12:30am. I did go to sleep easier than normal and slept pretty well. Until 6:45am when they called me from work to see if I would come in to work at 11am instead of 3. I told her I would come in early if she would let me leave at 7pm instead of staying until 11 making a 12 hour shift. I haven't done 12 hour shifts since before Hannah. So, I am off early. They wanted me to work tomorrow, but I will probably pass.
I am thankful that the hospital is finally filling up and they need me.

Why can't I sleep?!!!

You would think that the more tired you are, the better you would sleep. Apparently not.
Working evening shift while your family is living in day shift has it's rewards and it's downsides.
Reward #1 When I go in at 7, I only miss about 1 hour of family time, and when I go in at 3, I only miss 5 hours, rather than 9 hours if I work day shift.
Reward #2 I get paid a few dollars more an hour.
Reward #3 We don't have to pay a babysitter since Aaron is usually home while I work. (sometimes I might pay Mom for a few hours until Aaron gets home.
Downside #1 I get home between 11:30pm and 12am, have to wind down and somehow go to sleep.
Downside #2 Even though I don't go to sleep until around 1am, I still have to get up with the kids who have been in bed since 8 or 9. (Usually around 7:45am at the latest)
Downside #3 If I work one night, then have to go back the next, that requires me lying down to take a nap since I hardly got any sleep the night before. Thereby taking away some family time.
Downside #4 I MISS AARON. We hardly see each other when I am on a working binge.

I think I am running on adrenalin. I worked a total of 35 hours the two weeks before this one and got a whopping big check today, which then helps to make you not so tired. Of course after writing all the checks, it is very quickly dwindling.
I worked 4 hours Tuesday, then I called yesterday afternoon to see if they would let me work 3-11 last pm and they did let me, then I got home around 11:30, took a bath, prepared for our coop classes, went to bed around 12:30 and didn't get to sleep until around 2am.
Then I woke up with Aaron's alarm at 6am and again at 7:15. Went to coop, went to Aldi to get milk while we were close (milk is only 2:69 a gallon there) then got to Mom's around 1, ate lunch and laid down for about an hour while she watched the girls.
We came home around 3:30 and work had called to see if I wanted to come in at 3 again. I decided to pass since I am still pretty tired. Aaron is getting home 2 hours late, so he will be here about 45 min. before I have to go back to work 7-11. I am working 3-11 tomorrow, then I have Sunday off. Yipee!!!!
That is a total of 24 hours this week and I am signed up for 20 next week, which will make an even bigger check in two weeks. I just try to tell myself that every shift I work gets us closer to being able to start our adoption from Russia.

Cool Story

Recently, I found the blog of an author who I really like. I haven't read any books of his lately, but I love his book Seeing the Unseen. I love to read, so authors are like my celebrities. Back to the story. I don't have much to write about, and seeing his blog brought this back to mind. I will try to make it short and interesting.
Back in 2002 we lived in SC. I was working at the hospital mostly on weekends. Aaron worked 4 -10hour days a week and was off every Fri-Sun. We were trying to save up enough money for our down payment on our first house. We already had a closing date. I had a lot of days where I had signed up to work and we were going to cut it close for having enough money for the down payment we had promised.
When Aaron got a fulltime job with insurance, I decided that I would stop working Sundays unless an absolute emergency.
We had $17 in the bank. It was almost Christmas. I debated over and over again as to whether or not to work this particular Sunday. It would mean extra money, but I remembered my resolution to not work Sundays.
I didn't go to work and found out when I got to church that morning that Joe Beam was preaching. He had family connections there and I was so excited. I literally would have cried if I had missed that service. Of course he was a great speaker.
Towards the end of the service, I was sitting there with the kids (Madelyn 2, Natalie 9months) Aaron was serving in the service somehow, I don't know what, but I know he was not sitting with me.
Joe Beam's family member came up, right before service was over and tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to come back to the foyer. I didn't know what in the world I had done, but went with the girls. Back there waiting for me was Joe Beam's wife.
Joe's family introduced me to her and then she told me.. (not the exact words, this was 6+ years ago)
Before coming into town, someone had handed her a $100 bill and told her to give it to someone who needed it. She had that bill for a while and had prayed that God lead her to the person who that $100 was meant for. She said when she saw me sitting there with the girls, she knew that I was the one and she handed me the bill.
Yes, the $100 was less than what I would have made that day, but not by much. Even more important, what a blessing I would have missed if I had went to work that day.
I told her that we were closing on a house in about 2 months and had only $17 in the bank, and how I almost went to work that day. It was just an awesome experience.
Here is his blog address if you are interested. www.joebeam.com/blog

adding to the last post

After rereading the last post, I realize I need to clarify. Those who I refered to as not being real encouraging were from this town. I don't want to include my friends that email and encourage me here on the internet.

Encouragement

I have been in a pity party lately with myself.
Sad that it seemed for a long, long time that no one really cared about our adoption.
I would go months without anyone asking what was going on, where we were in the process, etc. And truthfully, it has kind of hurt that no one seemed to care. We have been on our own.
I don't want to bring it up because I felt like if they didn't care enough about it to ask me, then they surely didn't care enough to want me to bring it up.
But then it struck me at church on Sunday evening, while listening to the sermon. Probably the last month, the sermons that have been preached, and the classes that I have been to have all been about getting off your rear, getting uncomfortable, sacrificing something for God.
God doesn't call us to a life of comfort, a life of sitting back and enjoying what "WE" have accomplished.
Are you rich and can buy any toy you want and have a big house and you think of all you accomplished- perhaps God blessed you with the ability to make that money so you would give some back to Him. Perhaps you thought you were buying your big house so you could have sooo much space, but perhaps God led you to that house so you could fit a few more children in it. Children with no hope. Children that could have a bright future with you.
Yes, it costs a ton of money to adopt, and yes the child may have a lot to get over, and yes, you may have to start all over again with small children even though you are out of that stage with your other children. But look how God has blessed you. Bless others with it!
This life is not about getting ahead. It is about taking what God has given you and using it for Him. Don't be so cocky as to think that you did it all on your own.
Anyway, I got off track. Back to the sermons and lessons lately.
They have been so encouraging for Aaron and my journey. For us losing so much money on the first two countries. Now we are working extra to pay off the failed adoption so we can start again and probably go into debt again. Why do we do it?
I am sure others are probably thinking the same thing. Some have said it to me. Some with so much more than us, question our sanity as to why we give up what little we have for this, when we could use the money on ourselves.
I have thought the same thing. When I am down, I think the same thing. But then God doesn't let me stay there long...
He brings us lessons like we have had lately. When we left church Sunday night, I told Aaron... "you know, this whole adoption, I feel like we have been on our own. No one cares. I have prayed to God that he would send people to encourage us. Why is there no encouragement?!! But then tonight and lately, I realized that God is not going through our friends to encourage us, but coming directly to us through the preachers. I don't need other people to encourage me, when God Himself is doing it! " What a blessing!
If we quit now, there will be at least one more little girl who doesn't have a home. Who grows up without a Daddy and Mommy. Yes, if we quit now, we can pay off our debt, and move on. Make some money and buy some toys and say "we tried" . It was too hard. Guess since it was hard and expensive, we should just forget about it. No one would blame us. Actually, most people blame us for starting in the first place.
But if we quit, Sa tan wins. And that little girl who almost made it to a permanent home loses. And we lose. We lose a blessing.
"Blessed is the man who perserveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the cown of likfe that God has promised to those who love him" James 1:12

Lots and lots of rain here. Our pond beside our house that was empty when we moved in has been full for a while now. When it reaches a certain level, it goes through a culvert under our driveway and down down into the forest. That is where the girls love to play. Aaron made a bridge out of a piece of wood and they cross their tiny river and he also worked on a 1ft water fall for them also.
Yesterday was so nice and spring like. We got up and went to our Friday classes for the first time since before Thanksgiving. The girls were real excited to see their friends again. We got pizza on the way home and ate at Mom's, then I came on home with the girls. It was so pretty, I told them on the way home that they could either play outside or come in and clean. So they played outside. We have been stuck inside so much because of all the rain.
This morning, raining again, and I took the girls down to the church building where the Brownie troop was meeting to go 40 min. away to a cookie selling party to start off cookie time. We came back home with Hannah and cleaned a while, then I went to the store for a few things and picked up the girls.
They spent most of the afternoon at mom's.
I worked 12 of the 16 hours I was scheduled for this week. I called last night around 6 (15 min. before I needed to leave) to see what the census was. It was 12. I couldn't believe they hadn't called me to tell me not to come in. So I called the supervisor to see if I was scheduled. First she said no. Then she looked again and apparently they had spelled my name wrong and anyway, they didn't need me and I had to stay home. Glad I called and didn't drive 10 miles into town to get sent home.
Worked 7-11 tonight.
Found another couple in town that are adopting internationally. I am excited to possibly have a friend in person that can relate to an extent to what we are going through.

toes in my back

Aaron is fully recovered- pretty much. Just a little bruising and soreness left. He did much better than we thought and didn't even fill his prescription for the strong pain meds.
I worked 7-11 the last two nights and it has been busy. They want all the RNs to have ACLS which is Advanced Cardiac Life Support. I have never been certified in it and they offer a few classes a year.
I went to sleep around 12:30 am this morning after working 7-11.
I set the alarm for 6:30am and was planning on getting up, taking a shower, dressing the kids, dropping them off at Mom's and making it to work by 8am.
Aaron has a cold and slept on the couch last night where he could prop up.
Somehow, Hannah can sense when there is an empty spot in our bed, and shows up.
At 2:30am this morning. Normally, Hannah is not bad to sleep with, she moves minimally and doesn't dig under or kick like the other two. Except for all this morning, where she would not keep her little toes out of my back. Constantly, I would push them over, she slept through it all, and pretty soon, I would have toes digging in my back again.
I woke up hearing Aaron's alarm clear in the living room at 5:20am. So did Hannah and Aaron sent her back to her bed.
Before he left at 6:45, she was back in our bed asleep, digging her toes in. Somehow sleeping, her body in a 90degree angle bent at the waist.
Needless to say, I decided not to go to the pre-ACLS class that started at 8am. I hadn't signed up anyway. But then I awoke at 7:10, slightly more refreshed, called Mom to see if she could make it to the house by 7:45.
She came over and I barely got out of here in time to make it to work by 8am. Dreading 6 hours of classes that I didn't want to take, after sleeping a very broken 6 hours, I found the teacher.
Who promptly said that if I was the only one who showed up, she wasn't going to waste her time teaching it to one person.
No one else showed up and she rescheduled. Don't know if Mom will be working then and I won't have a babysitter. Oh well, I tried and that is all I can do, right?
So, I came back home. Did a little school before lunch. We just ate lunch and the girls are playing. I think that I may not make it much longer before I have to lie down. Hannah could probably use a nap too.

Falling Ladders

Aaron needed a new ladder for Christmas. He got one. Now he needs a new ladder for his birthday.
We have a small wooden, shaky ladder that isn't very tall and has 4 legs. His parents bought him an aluminum ladder that I think will stretch out to 20ft. When it rains here, our porch fills up with water, especially right in front of our front door. So, we decided to put up gutters, just on the front porch for now. Last weekend, we got most of it finished. We needed a few more parts from Lowes to finish, so he went New Years day with the girls to go get those parts.
I was working New Year's day and I get a phone call from Aaron. Now he never calls me at work, so I knew something was wrong.
Here's the story. He was working on the last seam. He said he had been on the ladder in the same position for about 10 minutes with no problem. All of a sudden, the ladder is falling out from under him. The ladder stopped when it got under the porch and hit the concrete on the porch about 3 ft above the ground. Aaron was working on the gutters, probably 10ft up. His L leg slipped a little through some rungs and got scraped up pretty bad, when the ladder hit the concrete and he was thrown off onto his R hip. I think his leg getting caught, if just for a split second, probably helped slow him down.
Of course, all the girls were outside and Natalie was watching. Apparently, he was rolling around a little in pain, and Natalie doesn't do well with people in pain, so she went running in the house. Madelyn and Hannah came to watch Aaron, and Princess came to waller on him, probably thinking that finally someone decided to roll around on the ground and play with her.
Since he could feel all his limbs and move them all, he sent Madelyn inside to make sure that Natalie wasn't calling 911. (She has been taking a Safety for Kids class on Fridays at our Coop) She wasn't.
After lying on the ground for a few minutes and having Madelyn hold the dog off, he was finally able to painfully walk into the house, where he was able to call me at work.
The other nurses heard me asking nursy questions, so they were concerned when I got off the phone. My supervisor was standing there and there was an extra nurse that was going to take over for me when I left at 3pm (it was 1pm). So she told me to go on home and check on him.
I still had to give report and chart a few things, so I called Mom to see if she would at least go over there and watch the girls, because I knew she could get there before me. Plus, if I needed to take him to the ER, I didn't want to take the kids.
We did eventually go to the ER, since he had a small abrasion over his hip and he fell on rock. He didn't hit the padded part, but hit on a bony part. Thankfully, he didn't fracture anything.
The ER doctor was very impressed. He kept saying how good Aaron's bones must be for him not to have broken something falling from that height. We are thankful.
But he does need a new ladder. His is bent. We don't know if it bent during the fall, or if it bent and caused the fall.
He did fix the last seam that night, after going to the ER, by putting our old rickety ladder on top of the jeep and having me hold the ladder still while he climbed up to finish. If he had fallen off a 2nd time, I think I would have taken him all the way to another hospital, instead of the one where I work. But the gutters are done, now we wait for rain to see how well done they are.
I was able to work 10 of my scheduled 20 hours this week. They called me Tues. and told me to stay home. Then they called me on Wed. morning trying to get me to stay home, but the supervisor said he would call some of the other nurses to see if they wanted the day off. One did and he called me back and let me work.
Today, Aaron left to go hiking with some of the men from church. Apparently, there is a BIG TREE somewhere in the forest. It is probably a 2 mile hike to the tree. A hard hike. So he is armed with ibuprofen. The hike would normally be a breeze for him, since he does that every day, we were just a little worried about his hip. Don't know what the girls and I will do today.